Butterflies are growing in my ‘stomork’

Hi guys, I just met this boy and all of a sudden, butterflies formed in my belly and are fluttering all about.

I love love, I mean I’m such a romantic person. I want a private cruise with my partner, I imagine myself cuddling with my partner while we listen to soft slow music. Sometimes I pretend to be in labor while my husband is rubbing my stomach and calling me sweet names like baby, my love, flower, my heart.

So as a fat girl, I never in my life would have imagined that a guy could be interested in me. He’s known me for a while now and we got talking. He talks to me like I’m the only beautiful girl in the whole world, he never refers to my weight, he calls me smart and beautiful.

This boy is not the regular cute, baby faced handsome guy. He is dark, a little bit short and well, facially okay. But now I see him as the most handsome boy I’ve ever set my eyes on. Tomorrow is Valentine and he recently sent me this picture of a box containing a cute teddy bear, a box of chocolate and a book that has written on it ‘To the woman I love with all my heart’, fam I almost cried when i saw this picture. Immediately after, I went online and also searched for Valentine’s gifts and sent to him. Mine was a picture of a male leather slippers, a bottle of wine and a diary sort of book.

Now, I don’t know Where exactly I stand in his heart because he hasn’t asked me out yet and I don’t know if he will, but this annoying little butterflies won’t stop flying in my tummy.

So once again, I need help!

When I remember my age my heart skips a beat.

I remember when I told my mum about how so many guys wanted me to be their girlfriends back in university, she’d tell me to tell them to wait until I was through with my schooling. The mistake I made was cutting off contact with all of them and not even trying to be friends. Now I remember I have no ‘boo‘ at my age and I cringe.

I recently just graduated and while I am still waiting to serve my father’s land, I do not have any cash at hand not in my bank account, so basically I am broke. No pocket money, no emergency money from home, no gift cash. And I think to myself how can I be totally financially barren at this point when people almost half my age have something bringing in money for them one way or the other. I remember how old I am with not a kobo in my account and I cringe.

Everyone has friends these days. I mean real close friends they can call on at any time. Well your introvert girl which is me, have nobody. I always have a way of pushing my friends away, infact it’s like my special talent. I think about who is going to organize my bridal shower, be my bridesmaid, call on me for gossip but then, ladies and gents I have no girlfriend to do that for me. No woman lifting woman thingy for me.

OK OK OK, you know what you want to do with your life right? and even if you don’t you have an inkling of what step to take about your life. I know nothing on that issue. After graduation,if I don’t get a Job, I don’t know what to do. I cannot even be an entrepreneur, why because, home girl is an introvert, and introverts do not make good business. At this ancient age of mine.

Help me!

Let’s start from here…Shall we?

So basically, I created this sort of online diary because I wanted to write out my mind and give access to people to read through my thoughts. I am an introvert but then I imagine things a lot, I’m sure I have more dramatic scenes in my head than any extrovert would have experienced in their lifetime.

You know sometimes, my mood goes on a really high and a really low stream that I sometimes think I have bipolar disorder. Other times I think I maybe depressed. I am not here to perfect my writing skills and not even to make use of the new words I learnt from my dictionary, so pardon me if there are few typos here and there.

Well, I am a romance freak. My God I love Love. I am actually single for reasons I don’t even know. I purposely come online to read proposal stories, I save random people love videos on my phone. I have so many boyfriends I’m dating in my head.

Phew… I feel like my introduction is not coherent but please just bear with me. I really am excited about sharing my lifestyle with you.

Ps: I’m fat. So its all about the fat introverted girl problem.

I’ll be back!